Kintsugi of the Soul: Breaking, Healing, and Awakening in Gold
What can I say but a deep 'thank you' to the intensity of awakening. Even though it has ripped me apart time and time again, somewhat it feels like this Japanese art, Kintsugi, of repairing broken pottery with gold. As if every time a crack appears (or I am made aware of an already existing crack) in my body, mind or soul and I let that be the way it is; it is filled up with the gold of love. The separated pieces are again interconnected with a stronger bond stemming from a deeper and more conscious reality.
The new constellation does not ensure an imperviable structure of my life and sense of being, but it does give a brief moment of relief, greater wisdom and a larger sense of "okayness" with the way things are.
Through this process has arisen a compassion for 'little Alex', understanding that there was nothing wrong with him, but that it was a natural part of life even to go into the depths of total annihilation and despair...
... And for the life journey - how we all break and rebuild. How we rise and fall, slowly learning how to surf those waves and realize the beauty in every little moment.
It seems a journey that never ends, and while I would've wished for the last page before, now there is a growing curiosity and gratitude for letting it go on for however far out the ocean wishes to take me.
I'm getting naked,
And if the ocean takes me,
Let it swallow me whole.
– Alex
27th of December 2023
27th of December 2023